I guess lately, I’ve just been in deep thought. I assume that happens when you hit a crossroad in your life. This upcoming move to New York has me contemplating the events that lead to my move. It’s true that I’ve always wanted to live in New York. I’ve always been in love with the idea of that city, even before I visited.
Now, let me get back to how college changed the way that I think. I started my college career at Michigan State University. Actually the day I got my acceptance letter was the day my mom thought I made a mistake about only applying to one college. I don’t know if it was laziness or the determination that lead me to only apply to one college, most likely a combination of the two.
At MSU, I discovered friendships that were/are truly everlasting. I mean some of these people will be in or at my wedding. I was completely emerged in the culture that was Michigan State University. From screaming my head off in Izzone, or eating in pasta in Lafayette, I found comfort in the setting of MSU. However, academically I was drowning in classes that didn’t stimulate me in any way. I was just there, but I thought that was college was about.
I thought that I would just go through 4-5 years of Michigan State, and I would graduate and be fine. I thought it didn’t matter if I didn’t like my classes, who did? None of that matter though, because half way through my second semester one of my loans fell through. I had to make a choice, stay or leave. I was conflicted, did this make me a failure?
Ultimately I ended up leaving Michigan State. In the end, even though I had friends that were willing to help, the cost (psychically, mentally, emotionally, and financially) seemed to steep to stay.
Man, leaving hurt. I had no idea what I was supposed to do. I convinced my friends I would be back next year, but I knew I wouldn’t. Truth is, I was relieved. I needed to detox from the toxic environment I PUT MYSELF in at MSU. I have to find myself, and what I really loved and what I wanted to do. MSU represented settling for me. It was more about proving a point than anything else. I wanted to be out of Illinois, I did that, now what?
Well, Columbia College Chicago was next. The moment I stepped on campus, I knew I was in for a treat. Everyone, regardless of what anyone thought, were themselves. I loved that, but I went to Columbia guarded. I went there still unsettled with what happened at MSU. Basically, I went there afraid that this too would be a failed mission. I mean this school didn’t even have collegiate sports, how would I survive?
I survived because I found myself. I’m a freaking contradiction just like Skittles! No, seriously! I love so many things: fashion, poetry, forensic science, black history, the business of sports, and more and I had the opportunity to explore every single one at Columbia. My favorite classes had to be Fashion and Sports because it combined two of the things I love most, and Poetry Workshop because I was forced to write a poem each week. Honestly, Columbia forced me to question everything I thought to be true and really consider if it was.
So leaving Michigan State was a blessing in disguise, and I know without a doubt I wouldn’t be the person I am today if I would have stayed, and I’m grateful for that. To think I was a conventional thinker was a mistake, but to think I could overcome adversity no matter where I ended up was absolutely no mistake. College taught me so many things, but most of all it taught me to trust myself. It taught me to listen to my heart, and it taught me that settling is for those that don’t believe in their own capabilities.
After all I’ve been through from college and beyond it makes New York seem like a cake walk, and I like cake. I’ve learned that sometimes picking up and just going is sometimes just the thing you need to shake up your life in a positive way. Fear is natural, you just can’t let it be a hinder you. Breakthrough, believe that life is limitless, and don’t give up EVER! Delay definitely does not mean denial! Push on, and in the words of the CCC motto: “Create Change!”